Every story has a beginning...

Newly single in my early 30s, I'm not particularly excited about "getting back out there". Frankly, I thought by now I'd be working towards building family with my husband and not signing up for online dating sites and signing divorce papers. Sadly, despite all the love in the world, things just don't work out.

Dating is definitely a different beast than I remember it! Granted the last time I was truly single is was last millennium (yikes!) and it was exciting just to go to third base, when people actually knew what that actually meant...so things are bound to change. But strangely I feel like something else is going on.

The gentlemen that I have been lucky enough to meet, while all lovely individuals, seem to be clueless when it comes to a) women; b) how to be with them; and c) are actively trying to address this problem. These guys have tried reading chick lit, asking female friends, therapists, you name it.  My dates seem to invariably turn into Q&A sessions (check out episode #3 who was the true inspiration behind this blog!).

It seems that in our increasingly egalitarian world, not the least by the the rise of the "woman" (look at the applause on any talk show where a man puts himself down in deference to a woman), guys just don't know how to behave anymore. Guys don't know if they should open doors, pay for the meal, etc. They are confronted with doubt too about when and if to hold your hand, when is it appropriate to sneak in a kiss - or should they ask first (quick answer guys - NO!). Not to mention that there are still certain stereotypes around about women - we are sensitive and should be protected. This feeds into conflict-avoiding behavior that leads guys not to call/email you back, when a simple "just not that into you" would suffice.

The changing mores in our society are unsettling. This blog is not a panacea for this bigger societal issue. Rather its a girl dishing to her friends after her dates/relationships, trying to draw some lessons for herself. If it helps you, then I'm glad:)

Not completely selfless though, maybe I'm also just a bit tired and frustrated of being the one who makes the boy into the man, but never reaps the benefits of being with the man?

Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.

How many ex-boyfriends do you have in your closet that found the "one" coincidentally right after you broke up with them for such and such behavior? I have a couple. I'm happy for them, of course, but at the time it felt like someone else was enjoying the fruits of my hard work. Not that boys need to be "broken in"...perhaps "domesticated"is a better word...

And how many times have you gone out on a bad date and dished to your friends? Did you ever tell him? No, that would have been insensitive or mean. But how will he ever know that he needs to improve or if he did something differently he would stand a better chance to be in a relationship? Or maybe you did tell him, but by that time you were no longer interested in giving second chances?

Ladies, I would love to hear your stories and reactions to my posts. I don't claim to speak on behalf of women. I'm only giving my perspective here...on the difference between a boy and a man.